| Instructions For First Aid Kit Use: |
| MINOR ACCIDENT / ROUGH RIDE: |
| In case of a minor accident, place bandage over spot that is sore and apply pressure. Minor relief should occur in less than an hour; If not, please consult your physician. |
| MAJOR EMERGENCY / SCREWING: |
| In case of a major emergency, use the tampon provided. Plug hole quickly. If pain still exists after 30 minutes, call 9-1-1! Order more of item #2 in case of a busy day tomorrow -- you'll need it! |
| THE HURRICANE / TOTAL DESTRUCTION: |
| Go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital as soon as possible and say your prayers! If you have been the victim of a hurricane and survived, be sure the next time the BuFu Plate™ is needed that you place the sanitary napkin securely over the rectum in the unlikely event it could fall in. Most people do not survive this massive destruction -- consider yourself lucky. Things are really bad, but remember: without the BuFu Plate™, you might not be alive to tell about it. |
| GRAND SLAM / IT'S OVER!: |
| Just in case the BuFu Plate™ slides out of place, cracks from overuse, or is installed improperly and can not save your ass, we have included a tube of lubricant to help ease the pain. |
| HAVE FUN! LIFE IS SHORT! GO FAST, AND ALWAYS REMEMBER TO USE PROTECTION. REMEMBER: DON'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT YOURS! |
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